Sitting Alone in my Room

sitting alone in my room
thinking about everything and everyone i
ve ever know
wondering about plaintive guitar strums in my moistened ears
thinking that i
d have died if i hadn
t found her
summer was insane
i've never been so far into my mind in a summer
learned so much about me the nature of madness
but the withdrawal is hell
i just sank and sank cause it was easier than fighting
i tired to find substitutes in writings and church bells
and blond haired goddess beasts
quick relief
and i came back a bit by bit by bit
but everything was still black
unrelating
there was nothing there
i was a ghost
but then i went roller skating
w/ her in flashing lights and nervousness
and she brought me back
she brought me back in ways i never thought possible
d wondered what to live for
now i don
t even have to think about it
the words i speak about her
[my catlike dark silken girl]
are the truest i have ever thought
if only she
d seen me before she
d met me
she could have tasted that bleakness that i dripped w/
the bleakness that she wiped from me w/ a cool smooth hand
a hand that i beg to stay in mine