die if thou woudst be with
that which thou dost seek
the rotting Ginsberg intones.
But what i seek now is here on earth so i must live.
My need can only now
be fullfilled by a material person
my need
varying from year to year and sometimes i need nothing
but now i need her
as if by being with her and being accepted by her
would prove my existence, make me more real
but to see her was to love her,
love but her,
and love her forever
says the it.
i kiss the it tenderly and turn away from it for a moment
that i might concentrate
more thouroughly on her.
my need
my everything
my want
my life for the moment
it forgive me please.
i still you the it
i still seek the perpetual happy
but now i seek it through her not my own mind
realizing now that my sustinence alone is limited.
i can only love myself so much, so long
i can only love her more.