I Wish I Knew

why did you have to be you dammit?
why did you have to be so disgusting and confusing and wonderful all at
once?
couldn
t you just pick one?

please couldn
t you? because i
m afraid that i love you now
i didn
t want to i tried
wouldn
t let myself fall

oh stacy i wish you didn
t intrigue me so damn much
you when were right when you said that i
d stopped toying with you
d flirt with you just to see how far i could go how you
d react and now i
want you
and now that i
ve reached that i come up against all the same fucking things
that i
ve come against with the other girls that i liked before
part of
is glad that i
m getting out after this year because then i wont
have to think about you or be near you
and the other wants me to stay another year and go to college with you
sometimes i can
t stand the way you think and then sometimes you
re just so
right on and you
re one of us and that
s why i can
t figure you out
i don
t know who you are
maybe you don
t know either and then i could help you
stacy i think i may even need you
i show you my poems first now
that last poem you read at shari
with the deep blues that was about you
i wanted us to go the dance so i could dance with you
ve thrown myself into turmoil over you
m torn between letting you drift away and tasting your lips forever
i like greensleeves so much because i hear your voice singing it
i stare at you when were together and you
re looking away
i was serious when i said i liked wrestling with you
i want to spend the night at your house and sleep in your room and just hold
i don
t even want to do anything i just want to hold you
remember when we were at the lookout and you came over to me and i put
my hand on your head?
you were warm
so warm and your hair was soft and when your hair was in the sunlight at
school it was good
you are so good i can
t stand it
sometimes i wish i loved you and sometimes i wish i didn't
does that make any sense?
do you see what you do to me stacy?
just you
just being with you
when you
ve got IT you
re beautiful stacy
your so so incredible
d like to spin circles in the rain with you
get sopping wet and hold onto you and be wet and free
let me show you how not to be afraid stacy
i don
t know much about the ultimate mind set but what i know i
ll be
willing to show you
i think i can take you places almost as wondrous as the places you could take