The total extent of the damage I have caused has not yet sunk in. It
is quite impossible to realize. I do realize the fact that I have accomplished
something, but I am afraid to allow myself remember exactly how much I
have done. O r mainly how much of it I finished on my own. I think that I
would find it more horrifying to discover that I had had an accomplis as I
would not even begin to be able to remember who it was. As logical as I
would like to feel, I am unable to ignore the spiralling feeling of myself.
Aside from that, I
am void of all emotion. It is quite possible that I have
been able to realize the beauties of carnage through madness or vise versa.
As the two tend to be directly linked. I remember someone once saying that
carnage was a tool most useful. Not only for shock value towards others but
for a certain inner sense of power. To ultimately destroy is to invoke a
feeling of purely godlike nature. It is more unnerving, my lack of guilt, than
the possibilities should I be found out. Pillar or not, I would not be looked
upon with sympathy. But then few of the truly mad are. I have been
pondering the possibility of employing my new tool, that being carnage,
again and have found the thought pleasant and eerily satisfying but it
appears that it would not accomplish nearly enough to feed my need. It
could be that my problem can be or needs to be reduced to a need for
attention rather than a need to kill. My utter recklessness with deadly
consequences. Death is rarely achieved on purpose consciously. I find that
the possibilities for methods to reach total carnage are unlimited thus
making my hobby, if you will, eternally gratifying.

I have founds knives to be especially wonderful as they tend to produce a
smooth thin feeling for me. They are not especially quick but then the
sooner the goal is reached, the sooner a new subject is needed. I have found
that starting with the arms tends to be a decent start. Several long shallow
cuts tend to make the subject more angry then fearful, thusly when the
realization of imminent death settles in, they are quite surprised and
responsive. From the arms, I find myself making quite a step forward by
opening the abdominal area completely. This is impressive for the subject
because the are forced to press both hands tightly to the stomach area to
prevent the lower major organs from slipping out. And leaving the face, head
, and throat open for exploration. Severing the bridge of the nose appears to
be a painful area for the subject but there is a
noticeable
noticable
lack of blood
vessels. The moment of death begins with the throat and progresses to a
final thought of terror. One sharp movement downward and
forward
foreward
will
sever
nearly
nearely
halfway through the neck, piercing the windpipe and stopping
just short of the spinal cord. The decapitation must be finished
immediately
immeadietly
after the opening of the jugular vein to prevent excessive blood loss. It is
extremely important to look directly into the heads eyes for at least 45
seconds as the brain is still able to register vision for that amount of time.
This is assures that the subject will remember the
experimenter
expeeeeerimentor
after death.
I awoke to find this paper on my desk next to a pool of blood. It happened
to be my own as I had been gone for several days and the lack of water had
gotten to me. I do not fear who is giving me these essays but rather I feel
that they will be an interesting test of my talents. I have never
before
bfore
seen
it in my best interest to make a subject of a
compatriot
compatriate
. I have left replies
to these papers in the exact same place as the original paper and have locked
the papers in a safe in a separate room. After each episode, I find that no
less
than
thatn
a full day has passed, my replies have not been touched, and the
safe is gone entirely. I found one safe in the alley behind my office. I have
talked to the committee about the papers. I feel that any
competition
competetition
in the
field should be watched by those other than myself. Expecting complete
support
suppourt
on my ventures, I was shocked when the committee blatantly
suggested schizophrenia to me. I find any such possibility impossible.

Experimenter
Experimetnor
1: reacted with
surprise
suroprise
at the suggestion of MPD
(multiple personality disorder). it has been
proposed
proprosed
that
subconscious
subconcious
conflicting
feelings
feelins
has
produced
prduced
a new personality. this would provide for
an easy scapegoat and would allow
Experimenter
Experimentor
1 to be
truly
truely
innocent from
any outside intervention that he might try to produce. this is made obvious
by the letters and his unusually long episodes.

committees
committess
studies have
shown that an episode that runs between 2 and 4 and one half hours is
sufficient to accurately test a subject.

Experimenter
Experimentor
s tendency toward 1
and two day episodes suggests that he is partaking in
more
morrrre
that the known
experimental actions. a subcommittee for internal conflict of
experimenters
experimetnors
has been devoted toward
Experimenter
Experimentor
1 as his being of a
prestigious
perstigous
perstigous
status
would make him dangerous. The possibility of his being subjected has been
put forth to the committee.
damn. i could see it in them. they don
t trust me anymore. the would
admit
abmidt
it but i know that they want me out. cant handle it. cant cut like i used.
they
all young bloods. full of fast mass carnage. no time for the slow
carnage
canrange
That
Thats
the important part. the individuality of it all. make the
subject feel that the
committees
committess
efforts are dedicated solely to them. but the
young bloods want
assembly
assemly
lines. they want to take the
personality
persoality
out of
the job. i have been forced to take unofficial
subjects
subjexts
as my appointments
from the
committee
commitee
have been suspended pending my subjection.
HIS OFFICE WAS FOUND SPOTLESS. ALL CARPET FURNITURE
PAINT AND LIGHTING REMOVED. THERE IS NO SIGN THAT
EXPERIMENTER
EXPERIMENTOR
1 WAS PARTAKING IN THE ASSIGNED
CARNAGE AT ALL. HIS DESK HAD BEEN UNBOLTED AND
REMOVED. ALL WINDOW GLASS, PAINTINGS AND OTHER
PERSONAL EFFECTS WERE MISSING.

EXPERIMENTER
EXPERIMENTOR
1 WAS
SUBJECTED DURING A 7 HOUR EPISODE. IT WAS DECIDED BY
THE COMMITTEE THAT ANY LESS TIME WOULD BE
USELESS
USELSS
PERSONS WITH MPD ARE FOUND TO REQUIRE CUTS TO THE
LEGS AND BACK SECTION AFTER THE STANDARD ARM CUTS.
ALL
APPOINTMENTS
APOINTMENTS
FOR
EXPERIMENTER
EXPERIMETNOR
1 HAVE BEEN
RELOCATED.