The room was dark and filled with pleasant but faltering
notes of grand piano. She sat behind it causing them. A
cooler breeze fills the room, competing with the piano as he
enters, staring at her fiercely, and questioningly.
His voice was quiet
before you say anything, tell me
if you think what we did was good.
His sense of confidence slipped down a notch as she
avoided his eyes. Her voice was equally soft.
I think that we got ourselves into a bad situation and
made a serious mistake. I know that what I did didn
express me though and I don
t think it expressed you either.
What we did was against everything I did and we can never let
it go any farther or happen again. It would just make things
worse. It wouldn
t amount to anything real.
A flash of
anger ran through him. The veins in his cheeks swelled with
an abundance of blood.
You sure didn
t seem diametrically opposed to putting
my hand under your shirt. Don
t you see what we did? Our
little paths of life went right on top of each other for just
a minute. Do you see what you made me feel then? I think my
tongue in your mouth made it obvious. You must have felt
something along the same line. I could see it in your eyes.
This incredible look that I
ve never seen on anyone else
before. Do you really expect things to be the way they were
before all of this?
he shot back, his voice full of
bitterness.
she said in an almost tired voice
I didn
t want
to do that. I didn
t plan on doing that. There was
something else, some other power that took me over and made
me do that. Something I couldn
t fight.
Bullshit.
came his voice, loud and uncaring now
you know what that was? that was passion, that was living
for the moment, that was instinct. Can
t you be passionate
about something for once? Forget about what
s been dictated
to you all of your life, go with what you feel for once.
This one time.
Her voice was even quieter, a note of pain somewhere far
away like she couldn
t stand to say the things she was
saying
There is nothing between us past friendship, there
never was. What happened was an accident.
Now it was his turn for pain
Dammit, that
s not fair.
What
s it going to take? What do I have to do? I
ll do
anything. I
ll convert to your religion, I
ll stop writing.
ll do anything.
This is ripping me apart, not having you.
I can
t stand you and i can
t live without you. All I do is
think of you, run that night over and over in my mind. I
t do anything. I can
t just forget about what I feel for
you. You can
t deny that you didn
t feel anything either,
because if you had, you would have stopped at holding my
hand.
For the first time she looked into his eyes
m sorry
if I hurt. I never meant to hurt you
I never meant to be
more than a friend to you.
The hell you never meant to hurt me. If I can
t love
you than I
ll have nothing to do with you. I can
t stand to
be near you knowing that you have no feelings for me or won
admit them. Is that it, are you afraid of what you felt?
Are you afraid because you didn
t something that you didn
believe in and you liked it?
He replied.
She had no answers and only walked slowly and resignedly
from the room.
He put his face in his hands to hide the tears from
those walking by, all the while muttering to himself
shit, oh shit, oh shit, what have I done?